Parenting, offspringing, doting, discipline, diapers.

Broken bowl

[Clara is in the living room watching a movie. Mom and Dad are in the family room. They hear a crash. Coming to investigate, they find a ceramic bowl shattered on the floor and Clara standing near it.]

Dad: What happened? [pauses the movie]

Clara: The bowl fell and broke.

D: What did it have in it?

Damn door

[Katherine and Clara return home at the end of the school day.]

K: Oh, good - John took the sheetrock away! Hey - let’s see if he took the door!

[they go to the storage room]

K: He didn’t take the damn door.

C: What damn door? Where’s the damn door?

K: That door right there.

C: That’s a damn door?

K: Yup… that’s the door.

C: What’s a damn door?

K: Uh… This is just a door.

Manos found guilty

Manos found guilty
Jury convicts Ithaca woman of murder, abuse of niece, 2”

Life recovers.
But not completely.
Wounds heal into scars, sometimes beautiful scars.
But not always.

Not Pants


[Clara has gone to school in a nice new outfit. Mom picks her up.]

Mom: How’d that new outfit work out?

Clara: I like it.

Mom: How do those new pants feel?

Clara: Mom: they’re not pants.

Mom: Uh… what are they?

Clara: They’re leggings.

Mild cheddar

K: “I’m making eggs. Clara, do you want some?”

C: “Yes.”

T: “Could I put my name in for some too?”

K: “Sure. Do you want cheese on yours?”

T: “Yeah. What cheese do we have?”

K: “I’m having mild cheddar.”

T: “Sounds good.”

C: “I want your old cheddar too!”

First circuit blocks created

Clara has always enjoyed playing with electronic components and breadboards. But putting them together to make an actual circuit is still a bit tough for her at 3, even with lots of coaching - getting the leads into exactly the right hole takes a bit more fine motor coordination than she’s got. So, I was inspired by an article in MAKE magazine* to make her some chunky blocks with screw-eye terminals that she can wire together using alligator clip leads. We’ll see how it goes!

Clara's Remote

One day a few months ago, my three-year-old daughter Clara and I were sitting in the living room watching a movie. We needed to pause it for some reason. I was working on teaching her to use the remote, so she tried it. But there were so many buttons on our two remotes, she always had a hard time finding the right one. And when she did find it, there were some books on the table in the way, so the infrared signal didn’t get through. After I explained that, she picked it up and pointed it at the TV, from inches away. But the DVD player is near the floor, and the TV’s higher up, so the receiver still couldn’t see. On the next try, the door to the TV hutch, which we have to prop open, got closed, so the signal STILL couldn’t get through. Who knows whether she was still pressing the right button at this point.

So I said, “Hey… Would you like me to make you your own special remote control, that would have just the buttons you need, and that you wouldn’t have to point anywhere?” She said yes. read more...

A little fancy

[Clara is sick. Timothy wakes her up at night to give her medicine. She never fully awakens. But she says one last thing before closing her eyes.]

Clara: Dad?

Timothy: Yeah.

C: I put that… purple ribbon… on the… doorknob… so it’d be… little fancy.

T: Ah! I see.

C: [snore]

Winnie The Mondegreen

[Timothy and Katherine are discussing the next Star Trek movie, which is entering preproduction.]

Clara: Dad?

T: Yes?

C: I’m puzzled.

Preschool proof

The three-year-old logical process:

  1. According to Thomas The Tank Engine, trains have “drivers.”

  2. According to Busytown, trains have “engineers.”

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