this is my home

Thinking about fears throughout my life.

lyrics

my father said, “son, you will feel that fear
“until the moment you face it”
one day i crept down to that dark basement room
and i opened my heart to the ghosts in the gloom
and nothing showed up to debase it

    i said:
    this is my home
    this is my home
    i know that it’s mine
    until i am grown

i grew older and learned about larger fears
that weren’t disproved when i met them
loving a place and then having to move
not getting hired despite all i knew
burglars and cancers before twenty-two
losing beloveds, my father went too
each laugh bought a sob, i learned it was true
my heart took out loans and they always came due
yet i was still here to collect them

    this is my home
    this is my home
    i know that it’s mine
    wherever i roam

now i’ve out-whitened my father’s beard
my collection’s turned into collective

angels as far as my eye can see
the manliest men who ever hugged trees
the swimmingest women, the nonnest nbs
the lovers and givers and tenders of: bees
and gardens and compost and 401c(3)s
and squirrels and birds and democracies

who shake in their boots but will stand out and freeze
if they’re called to stand up to an autocracy
built by rich angry criminals lying with ease
who harangue and sell hatred and dopamine
among addicts convinced of a desperate scheme
who may soon be marching down these very streets
demanding our blood to keep their country clean

yet i will not change what my heart believes
because of their blows or invective

    this is our home
    this is our home
    we know that it will be
    and we will say so
    (last time) my loves, it is so

my father said, “son, you will feel that fear
“until the moment you face it”

parts

tjw: acoustic guitar, bass ukelele, hand drum, vocals